We can get on board with all of this, at least conceptually. And the only text attached to the photos of the former style star features the phrase: "Sometimes you have to reach out and touch someone-slash-yourself."
She's also reported to have been photographed while sexting over FaceTime with photographer Mert Alas, so we'll be keeping an eye out for that. And we do mean spread.Īccording to E!, the singer is featured in the publication's upcoming issue masturbating and provocatively licking the floor, among other things. That said, there's something sort of sleazy going on with her latest Interview magazine spread. Her exhibitionist style appears to be part of a carefully crafted persona intended to liberate young people from the traditional demands of social convention - and, the vast majority of the time, it's awesome. A robot Tyson CEO wouldn’t speak in such glowing terms about fake meat for fear of being replaced by a fake robot.Look, we're not trying to get down on Miley Cyrus. Don’t laugh, if inventors can come up with a robot to milk a cow, inventing a fake CEO should be a piece of cake. The money the company would save on the difference in salaries between someone making $25 an hour versus 20 million a year would go directly to the bottom line.Įven my Fake CEO For A Day Program would only be a stopgap measure until a CEO robot could be invented. You could even buy from Harvard or MIT any extra fake diplomas they had on hand and nail them on the office walls of the fake CEOs. I’m thinking that every day you take a different employee off the deboning line who has a fake green card and fake social security number and make he or she CEO for a day. If CEO’s of meat companies aren’t even going to stand behind our product maybe it’s time to replace them. They should be paid off in fake stock options so they’d know how real meat producers feel.Īfter I finished getting mad about the charlatans in suits serving as red meat Chief Executive Officers I started thinking of ways to fight back and I think I have the answer: Fake CEO’s. I guess they haven’t looked at the books lately or they’d notice that 99.9999% of their income and profit comes from real meat. (But then I wonder if all the glowing reviews about fake meat are fake.) What made me especially upset were two quotes from the CEO’s of two of the three biggest meat packers in the world about how bullish they are on fake meat. Initially I thought it would be a bigger flop than a braless Playmate of the Year, so I was surprised at how well fake meat has been received. The most fraudulent thing that really gets my goat is fake meat. Business bamboozlers and bureaucratic government officials in The Swamp contrive, fabricate, forge, deceive, and defraud daily but if you try to save a little on your taxes you could end up in the hoosegow. We don’t believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy any more but UFO’s in Roswell and the Kardashians are the real deal. I even saw on eBay an autographed photo of George Washington on a “Buy It Now” deal, even though I’m pretty sure there weren’t even Kodak® box cameras and film back in Georgie’s day. If you look on a container of lemon juice for instance it says it’s made with artificial flavor while dishwashing soap is made with real lemons.
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It’s getting harder and harder to tell what’s real and what’s not. I suppose their diplomas will be made with fake sheepskin.
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Fake “reality” TV show stars in Hollywood are even creating fake grades and fake SAT test scores so their dumb kids can get into Harvard and Yale. Bald guys are wearing toupees, women are getting fake boobs and fake people pester me on the phone with robo calls from fraudulent folks. It seems like everything is fake these days: fake news, fake ice cream, fake money, fake teeth, fake knees, fake hips and fake identities.
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